㈠ 10個易懂的英語短笑話帶翻譯短一點爆笑
He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一個大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。-- 他真是一個大人物。干什麼的？-- 墓地守墓人。搞笑的英語小笑話：I Wasnt AsleepWhen a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conctor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: Wake up, sir!I wasnt asleep, the man answered.Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.我沒有睡著當一群婦女上車之後，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔心這個人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：先生，醒醒!我沒有睡著。那個男人回答。沒睡著?可是你眼睛都閉上了呀?我知道，我只是不願意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。大膽的猜想A Wild GuessOur physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimedes principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery,he ran down the street yelling, Eureka, eureka! The professor asked if anyone knew what that meant.One student stood up and answered, Im naked! Im naked!大膽的猜想我們的物理教授千方白計地引導學生討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們，阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進入池子，發現水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對這一發現十分激動，跑到街上高喊:Eureka, eureka!教授問我們誰知道他喊的是什麼意思。一個學生站起來答道:我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!搞笑的英語小笑話：The poor husbandYou cant imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife, the man complained to his friend. She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可憐的丈夫你根本無法想像和我妻子打交道是多麼的難，一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，她問我一個問題，然後自己回答了，過後又花半個小時跟我解釋為什麼我的答案是錯的。Whos More Polite?A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.誰更有禮貌?一個胖子和一個瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。瘦子說他更有禮貌，因為他經常對女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認為他更有風度，因為無論什麼時候他在車上給別人讓座時，總有兩位女士能坐下。搞笑的英語小笑話：Let Dog in HotelA man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, Ive been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, Ive never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. Ive never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And Ive never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, youre welcome to stay here, too.一個人給一家他計劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫了封信，我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很乾凈很有教養，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?旅館主人立即回了封信，我經營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者牆上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因為狗喝醉胡鬧而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔保，也歡迎您來。《律師、寶馬和胳膊》一個律師打開他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現場，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!律師哀怨地說。你們律師真是物質至上，我很不舒服!警察反駁說，你這么關心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。律師終於注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，天哪，我的勞力士手錶在哪兒?A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.Officer, look what theyve done to my Beeeemer!!!, he whined.You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!! retorted the officer, Youre so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didnt even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!搞笑的英語小笑話：Intelligent sonOne day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didnt write the address and addressees name on the envelope.After the son comes back, the father asks him: You have thrown the letter in the mail box?CertainlyYou have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.Then why you didnt take it back?I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!聰明的兒子有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,兒子已經拿著信跑了,父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。兒子回來後,父親問他:你把信丟進郵筒了嗎? 當然你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?我當然看見信封上什麼也沒寫那你為什麼不拿回來呢?我還以為你不寫地址和收信人,是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰呢!外語的重要性A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. Shewatched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.Mother mouse barked fiercely, Woof, woof, woof! The cat was so terrified that it ran for its life.Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, Now, do you understand the value of a second language?一隻母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步，突然她看見一隻貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。母老鼠向著貓叫道：汪，汪，汪，貓聽了非常害怕，拚命跑走了。母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：現在你知道外語的重要性了吧。搞笑的英語小笑話：Put your feet inThe school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. Mary ! called the teacher sharply. Yes,Madam? questioned the pupil , Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!把腳放進去一個女學生坐在座位上，嘴裡起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發現了。瑪麗!老師嚴厲地叫她。什麼事，老師?這女學生問。把口香糖從嘴裡拿出來，把腳放進去。